Day 2379 of the 7 day Bible verse challenge.
Proverbs 17:17 NIV
Don't know about you, but I just love how our God works! This past week or so has been one of reflection and learning for me personally. I've been looking back over the mistakes that I've made, the lessons to be gleaned, and the excitement of the chance to do better going forward. There has been this really interesting blend of regret and opportunity that is unlike anything I've felt recently. There is always something to learn and improve if we're just willing to look for it. And it really is amazing to be able to learn lessons that we didn't even realize we need to learn.
Much of what I've been thinking about this past week is friendship. That's something that has always meant a lot to me. It's one of those things that I've always tried to do my best with and thought I did a good job of taking seriously. Alas, as with pretty much every other aspect of life, I can honestly say that I've made more mistakes than I ever realized at the time. We live, we learn, we grow, but looking back and seeing the mistakes that we can't go back and do differently is truly miserable. But thankfully, we have the opportunity to learn from those mistakes and pour ourselves into ensuring that they don't happen again.
There is a vast difference between friendship and fellowship. Sadly, our world has made the second seem like the first. We think that being liked, being accepted, and having something in common is all that a friendship requires. We so bend and twist and do our best to fit the molds of what other people are looking for in order for us to gain their acceptance and the illusion of friendship. We learn to say the things that people want to hear. We learn to like the things that other people are interested in. We do whatever it takes to find favor in the eyes of those around us so that we can feel loved and appreciated.
But living for acceptance is a losing battle. Too much is lost in order to get it. We can go so far that we lose our identity in the effort to make ourselves more likable to those around us. We get so used to doing and saying what everyone around us expects that we forget who we were before we started down that road. And when those “friends” eventually lose their interest in us and leave us behind then we’re left with the realization that liking the same things and speaking the same lingo was never enough to forge the bonds of a true relationship. We’re left to start finding our way back to who we once were before we lost all of our personality to gain some companions who were never more than acquaintances that were never there for the long haul.
True friendship is far more than liking the same things. It is a bond between people who genuinely care about one another. It’s a relationship built upon love and appreciation without the need for common interests or the temporary need for company to relieve boredom. It’s a brotherhood that will stand with you when your world is falling apart to make sure you know that you’re not alone. It’s someone who will carry you when you don’t have anything left to give. It’s in the one who will tell you what you need to hear and not just what makes you comfortable. It’s a person that truly wants the best for you and will do whatever it takes to get you there. It’s the very definition of priceless, and it should be treated as so.
Sadly, we live in a world that only knows virtual connections based on the superficial need to see a large number. Having experienced the things I have when it comes to friendship and the shallow illusion of it that our world settles for, I can say with complete certainty that one true friend means more than a million people who simply know your name. One person who genuinely wants the best for you is more valuable than 100 who are only there because you make them laugh or have something else to offer them that they want for a little while. One brother or sister to walk with you along this journey through the ups and downs of life is something beyond special.
I’ve looked back countless times and wondered why I lost all the friends that I once had. All of those bonds that I thought had been formed with people who cared, who would be there, who would always be in my life. But I realize now that I never had them. They were never friends. They were people who I spent too much time trying to please. They were people who only wanted me around when I had something to offer them and lost interest when that appeal faded. So I didn’t have a ton friends that I lost along the way. In fact, I had very few. And the regret is that I should have done better by those few rather than trying to please the rest.
That’s a crucially important lessons right there! Don’t live to please people. Don’t seek friendship in people who require you to be like them. Look for it in those who love you as you are and yet refuse to let you stay there because they see something even better inside. That’s what a friend really is, and it’s something that all of us should strive to be. Be the one who genuinely cares about people. Be that rare kind of person who actually invests in others and wants nothing but better for them. Be a friend. Be a brother. Be a sister. Be something special because that’s what we need!
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