Day 2739 of the 7 day Bible verse challenge.

Luke 5:8 NIV

You know, there have been many days where I've found myself sitting here staring at my laptop wondering what it is that I'm doing. Moments of doubt. Times of feeling completely unworthy to even think I have the right to share the Word of God. Days when I've made so many mistakes that I can't really find anything to say other than "I'm sorry" and yet still feeling the need to share something different than simply how I feel at that space in time. Today is one of those unworthy days.

I actually had a completely different post in mind for today. One continuing along the lines of happiness and choices to see the good in life. But I don’t really think I have any right today to speak to things like happiness and making good decisions. So I'll save that for tomorrow because today I found myself in yet another moment of proving my unworthiness. I found myself doing something I shouldn't. I found myself in the midst of yet another mistake. I found myself with this sudden overwhelming urge to simply share this moment of weakness and failure and shame because honesty and truth and openness in sharing our reality is something that I think we ought to maybe do a little more often as Christians.

The fact of the matter is that we're all imperfect. None of us are truly ever worthy. Nobody has the right to act or present themselves as if they have a firm grip on anything when much of our lives are still laden with mistakes and failures and shortcomings. Nobody should have the audacity to put forth this image of righteousness or holiness or uprightness when the simple truth is that we're all so far from any of those things that we should be ashamed to entertain the thought that we're not.

Apparently since my incident a couple of weeks ago, my temper has grown shorter and I've reacted to a couple of situations in a manner other than a true follower of Christ should. And be it some kind of injury, the ongoing tiredness, or simply being frustrated with the past couple of weeks spiraling out of normalcy, the reality is that there's no excuse. There's only this blatant realization that to whom much is given, much will be required, and in many ways that's still a fight that I'm losing more often than I should. And perhaps I’m not the only one. After all, again, we’re all unworthy and find ways to prove that fact every day.

Now I'm not going to make this post all about me and the changes that I need to make. That's something that I can, and will, and will never stop working on. This post is about the reality that all of us have work to do. We all have things that need to be addressed in our lives. Each of do things that we shouldn't, say things that should not be said, and rush into rash decisions that lead us in the wrong direction. Each of us are truly unworthy of this faith we have a chance to live by. Each of us are wretched scoundrels who should have absolutely nothing good to look forward to up ahead.

And yet, even in all of our weakness and mistakes and rampant guilt, we have been offered a daily audience with a kind of love we've done everything we can to turn away from. We've been forgiven. We've been accepted. We've been loved during every one of those rough moments where we were far away from who we ought to be. We’ve been shown unto a path that leads to an open door to something more beautiful and peaceful and priceless than we could ever begin to imagine.

Friends, today was a reminder for me of just how far I have to go. It's a reminder of how quickly we climb up on this tower and allow ourselves to start thinking more highly of ourselves than we ever should. It's a realization that this day is a gift that I don't deserve and that I need to live it as such. That's a thing that I think all of us could use a reminder of every now and then. So maybe God's using my momentary lapse in judgement this morning to encourage me to share something that may help someone else who may be finding themselves drifting or frustrated or grappling with feelings of unworthiness.

Those are just things that every Christian wrestles with now and then. We have moments of doubt. We get frustrated by the things we’re going through. The people around us manage to strike a nerve just right that sets those fuses ablaze. Life itself finds new ways all the time to make us struggle to keep our heads on straight and our hearts set on following the example we have in Christ. The issue is that we know we're sinners. That’s a fact that plays a huge role in forming the foundation of our faith. And as our faith grows and deepens and as we learn more about God’s Word, we realize more quickly the mistakes we make. Our flaws and failures begin to stand out more prominently than before.

Our lives will never be perfect, and the Good Lord above us knows full well that we'll never be perfect at living them. But we owe it to Him to try. We owe it to those around us to try. We owe it to ourselves to try. Not because we'll ever get there, but because we've been given a lot and so a lot is required. We don't get to just sit around feeling sorry for ourselves for messing up or doing things we shouldn't. We don't get to settle for slowly becoming monsters simply because we feel unworthy of being anything else. We don't get to accept our imperfections and allow them to continue to define us and decide our actions. We should want more than that.

In short, we owe a lot to the One who has given us so many good things that we are completely unworthy of receiving. Every day is a chance to live like we've been saved. Every moment is an opportunity to show the world around us that although we are not worthy to stand where we're standing, we will continue to step into that gap because we know the power that lies on the other side of our shame and guilt. Every day is a chance to rise above who we are, who we've been, what we've done, and accept this undeserved grace that is continually shown to us in spite of our countless failings.

Friends, none of us will ever be worthy. But each of us are still loved. We're still offered forgiveness. We're still given chances to fight the good fight and refuse to simply settle for the lives we've lived and the mistakes with which they've been tainted. Even in our mistakes, God still sees fit to give us new chances to be better than we've been. And while we may not feel deserving of that gift, it's one that we better take full advantage of if we ever hope to be more than we've been.

This love we have in Christ is truly a gift bigger and more beautiful than we know. It overlooks our undeserving nature. It heals all that we continuously break. It picks us up, dusts us off, and sets us back on a path that we simply can’t follow without His loving kindness always there to keep pointing the right way to go. Let that be what defines us, not how ashamed we feel of having needed His grace so badly and so often. After all, our faith isn’t for the perfect and pure. This faith is for those wretched sinners who know just how badly they need the healing mercy and saving grace of a love we can’t understand!

So whenever those feelings of inadequacy or being unworthy start to float around your mind, just remember that God’s mercy is more powerful than our ability to mess things up. And we shouldn’t allow our feelings to cause us to flee from the mercy we’re being offered in Christ. Don’t turn away from because you feel undeserving of His love. Press into it knowing that it’s a gift. And friends, it’s awfully rude to deny someone’s choice to give you a gift. We don’t deserve what we’ve been given, but God has chosen to give it anyway. Who are we to tell Him He’s wrong?

#LeaveNoSoulUntold