Day 3131 of the 7 day Bible verse challenge.

Proverbs 4:26 NIV

There exists inside each of us an innate resiliency that's there to see us through a life we're not at all ready to face all alone.

But the problem is that that resiliency cannot break from responsibility. Because it's God's working to ensure that we're always well aware of what we're doing via both constant reminders of what we're supposed to do as well as incessant realizations of what we're actually doing. And that the two are inseparable leads to this breaking point where one of two things inevitably happen:

Either our awareness of our responsibilities breaks down our arrogance or our arrogance resolves to remove all reminder of our responsibilities so that they don't hinder what we've so selfishly learned to crave.

Looking around it's clear to see that that inner resolve is sadly among the very first bits and pieces of ourselves that are bought and traded as if nothing more than commodities or stock shares. Parts of our souls are sold away every day in exchange for this idea that we've the ability to make life all we want it to be, according to what everyone else says it’s supposed to be. Thus that persistence meant to guide us along a narrowing path is made entirely expendable by the allure of the wide open image of freedom all our friends are following.

And being the communally reliant people we've become, yes become, we've had no second thoughts about what we've lost to have that place down here where we feel like we fit.

Except that it's not quite as easy to get God to shut up as we've long assumed inside that arrogance that's left us lost inside this mindset that paints us the embodiment of the only opinion that matters. Just because we've learned well how to ignore God from a world that's been trying to perfect the art of sin since time began doesn't mean He's changed His mind.

Just means we're willfully and ignorantly oblivious to His authority and the previous means by which He's, let's just say, cleared His throat.

Yes, humanity by and large has no interest in doing anything that demands self-limitation, self-control, self-denial. Why deny oneself when all of life lay before us as if a buffet from which to choose the treasure and pleasure that seems befitting royalty such as ourselves? Why restrain ourselves to the refusal of the bounty before set us? Why agree to adhere to a list of rules, regulations, requirements, responsibilities that we didn't help create, considering we’re supposed to be the ones in control?

After all, if life is all about us as this community we're in so often makes clear, then how dare we not treat ourselves to everything we want, including that idea that we've none to ever answer to aside from the one looking back us in the mirrors which reflect the masquerade we've taught our eyes to see?

You know, these past couple of weeks have found me doing more thinking, or at least thinking about certain things more than ever before. And in many ways these contemplations sparked by a reminder of a better time, a better person, a better life are quite familiar. I find myself thinking incessantly about the things I'm doing and what those choices are accomplishing for me or keeping me from accomplishing.

But the difference here lately is that there's this novel and intriguing consideration of what's been left behind that's not ever been but a whisper in my normal evaluations of my current life that’s suddenly floated to the top of the mix. Yes, these reminders and memories are to me evidence which I feel God's using to call me back to a better life that He knows I can once again find again up ahead.

And yet, it takes a kind of assessment that I've not really considered before. It's not just a nightly perusal of the pitfalls into which I fell the day prior. It's not merely a moment of miniscule remorse found in the immediate aftermath of one the many mistakes I make throughout my day. It's deeper than just rehashing my words and reconsidering my actions so that the worst of them don't repeat going forward.

It's deeper than that. It's got a sense of life to it.

And I can't help but feel as if it's an awakening, a revival of sorts aimed at bringing about a way of life that I don't know that many of us know is not only possible but entirely waiting for us to awaken to it. Because again, we've been living the same as those who've gone before us, those who walk around us, those who insist upon our acceptance of their invitation to provide input they think we need in order to ensure that we remain what they want.

That's why I said that we've become communally reliant. We've such this fascination with these endless avenues by which to meet and mingle that we've begun loosening our responsibility, losing our individuality, and even letting go our grip on reality. Everyone has a platform, a following, a certain degree of fame which in this world today helps either define our worth or prove we have none. And it's this overly socialized world that's bringing about a danger that I don't think many ever saw coming.

We're outsourcing everything about us, about our lives, about how we do everything so that everything we do is done in proper form and function in this place we think we have to fit. And sadly, there seems to be nothing off limits in this selling off of our personal responsibilities.

Maybe it's because I'm basically the poster child for introversion, but I can't shake this sense of sorrow in hearing all these messages telling people they can't do anything on their own. I can't shake this fear of what it's doing to folks, this life we’re living constantly being barraged with messages saying that you need help to fix something, to learn something, to do something, to be something.

We are something. We are living a life that means something. We are endowed with skills and abilities and traits and interests that God gave us so that He could use us. We have a story we’ve lived, a mess He turned into a message, a series of tests we’ve learned from that now form a testimony the world needs to hear. We have a life that’ll preach.

But it doesn’t because it seems we’ve not only lost our understand and appreciation of responsibility, but it just so happens that our voice was lost in the trade as well. We’ve let the world begin speaking for us, choosing for us, walking for us, living for us. And if we keep diluting that image in which we were made behind all this modern thinking telling us that we need more than that, we'll never find that inner purpose He placed in us.

Because it's only found down the road He leads us along when we're focused solely on walking with Him. And in this world now, there are just too many distractions to make that possible. It's not popular. Not profitable. Not easy as it's not common, and therefore there's not a self-help book that guides us along a self-guided journey of discovering who we are and why we're here.

Oh wait.

Wait right there. Yes there is. But it's another one of those things that's been so communalized that people don't read it for themselves anymore. They just show up once a week to hear a little bit assuming that that's enough to base an entire existence upon.

The Bible is meant for each of us to read, to study, to digest and crave upon our hearts. It’s meant for us to use as a roadmap along this narrow path we’ve never followed and can’t figure out perfectly. But the world’s convinced us that it’s just something preachers should know. We’re convinced that you have to have a degree in Biblical studies in order to have the right to study the Bible.

What? What are we doing? How did it all go so sideways and get so complicated?

Because again, we’ve lost our personal investment in it. And when something isn’t personally important, then there’s absolutely no chance of it doing the work it’s meant to do.

We are meant to think about what we're doing. Think about what you're doing. Think about where you are. Think about where you're going. Does it seem right? Does it feel right? Does it allow you to step boldly out of the shadows with a confidence that's left you unafraid of what anyone may think because you're unashamed of who you are?

I don't know that any of us can say that. I don't know that we have that kind of resolve as we've never learned, never cared, never cared to learn nor learned to care to consider any of this stuff before. We don't give careful thought to our steps. Just follow the steps laid out for us in the most popular 10-step program that's taking the world by storm at the moment. We don't reevaluate our choices, because we're not really even the ones making our choices anymore.

We're just used to waking up and being pointed along the path we're expected to follow that day. What's the newest trend? Is my fashion still on point, or on fire, or dripping with something, whatever they say these days? Did I share the right hashtag? How are my likes and followers and outreach and input and influence trending? Trending. Trending. Trends. A train of trends running off the rails leaving everyone for dead in a life not worth living.

Said it. Meant it. We're living a life not worth living because we ain't the ones living it. Not anymore.

And that's what God's been dragging me through over these last couple of weeks. I've not been the one living my life in recent years. Haven't been the one living my life for a long time. How do I know? Because I'm not happy. Not at peace, at least not with the place I've found myself. Not pleased with the roads I've taken. Because I've realized too late the cost of not considering my steps.

Just follow. Just go. Just do. Do something. Do what's normal. Do what's easy. Do what makes you feel good and follow that until the flame burns out and jump onto another gravy train with biscuit wheels rolling toward a similar dead end.

You ever wonder why we tend to feel so little fulfillment in these lives we're living according to how the world says we're supposed to be living them? Notice how often the world changes its opinion as to what matters, what's popular, what's acceptable? Well, when the two combine with us lost somewhere in the middle looking around us to figure out once more what we're supposed to do, we end up changing too.

Frequently. Daily. Hourly some days. Why? Because when the world is the voice leading us, every time that voice tells us to focus on something new, do something new, say something new, we're forced to change in order to stay current. We can't have that inner resolve pulling us back from that current. We can't allow responsibilities to threaten our hard earned relevance.

We can't lose our standing, even though we don't know where we're standing or what we're standing for anymore. Lost it. Gave it away. Tossed it in the deal to go along with the other expendable pieces that we traded away in exchange for the chance to be welcomed by, liked by, applauded by the world we're in for a shorter time than we care to admit.

Personally, God's helped me see just how long I've cared too little about what matters most. And fyi, what matters most isn't what this world's doing. Not what this world's enjoying. Not what this world's selling. That's all a bigger and more dangerous distraction than we could ever imagine in minds so tied to the world that to break apart demands a near-life experience.

Near-life because we've been living close to death for far too long. But thankfully God does work to open our eyes and shake us awake so that we can hopefully see that responsibility ain't so bad after all.

Why? Because it helps us find who we are by pointing out every time we do something, say something, buy something, lose something that leads us off the only road that runs on life. It helps us learn to measure our steps, to discern where our time and attention are being placed, to make certain that our energy is being given to something worth the little life we have to offer.

Responsibility is God's gift to help keep us on the right path, the narrow path. And so whenever we agree, as the world always has, to avoid it, well, like the world always will, we get lost as we drift away from our Father.

Question is whether or not we want to keep drifting.

I don't. Not fun anymore. Not the barrel of laughs I was promised. No, more like a cement mixer filled with shame and regret that have almost concreted my heart to death. Done with it.

My point is that we alone will bear the blame for the lives we live and the decisions we make which end up making them what they become. And the weight of that promise is worth the time and attention it takes to make sure we’re doing this the best we can. We need to learn to make this personal again. To take ownership and actually invest ourselves in our own lives and our own faith again. Because there will be nobody to look to when we’re standing before Him.

That’s why He tells us to think about what we’re doing, to make sure the steps we’re taking are leading us in the right direction, to follow through all the way home. So make your own choices. Make them for what you believe are the right reasons according to what you yourself learn and glean from the Word that teaches us a deeper understand of what’s right and what isn’t.

Live you own life knowing that you alone will receive the just outcome for how you live your life. Make a choice. Choose a path. Choose His path, narrow though it may be. And then see it through. Steadfast until the end. Too much risk otherwise.

No, responsibility isn't fun. It's not going to win us a bunch of social media followers or a great social credit score (scary stuff by the way). It's not going to allow for the illusion of freedom many down here are lost within. No, it's going to ask us to consider more deeply everything we're doing than we've ever done before. It'll cause us to realize more the countless mistakes we're making than we've ever tried to find reason to deny before.

Yes, this narrow path is so tight that it demands we decide every day to let go of everything that He keeps telling us isn't welcome. And that means we'll lose a lot of the things and ways we never thought were all that bad. But if we believe that this road is worth it, that faith is what He said it is, that He has a place waiting for us, then how dare we settle for less than doing our part to make sure we make it?

He died for this. If we won't follow suit and kill off the parts that cost His life, we clearly missed the plot, missed the point, missed the power. Because His gift is meant to change us into the people who are excited to say 'No' to ungodliness. It's meant to inspire us to live life self-controlled and upright by humbly agreeing to walk responsibly, reasonably, carefully.

It's meant to teach us the impossible value of making a choice and seeing it through, even if the steps of the journey are not easy nor simple. He walked that road. But if we want to be where He is, we have to follow.

Steadfast.

#LeaveNoSoulUntold