Day 3239 of the 7 day Bible verse challenge.

John 6:68 NIV

Kneeling here beside the many broken alters upon which I've poured out a wasted life, I look around now only to find that I've merely hidden myself from the truest love there is.

And now that my cover is blown, where else might I seek refuge other than within the only hope we've ever had anyway?

Where can we go to find even a fraction of what this faith is that's found us in the midst of our insane mundanity as defined by an imperial immorality such as these selfish and thus sin-filled lives? To whom might we beg a portion of the promise offered by the only One who was different enough to find a reason to come for us who wouldn't move for Him?

Yes, is there any other in whom we can find the audacity to stand apart in this world all crumbling together?

Because within this strange sense of senseless community from whom we've learned things like turmoil and triumph, can we find the purpose proposed by the cross? Does the way of life we've come waste possibly hold a meaning that makes it worth losing all we've failed to gain? Can we truly find a worth in ourselves when all our works have only complied into a passing compassion that stays only for an evening?

Is the percentage we know of perfect peace truly too insufficient for our suffering through a sacrifice of our past sanctimonies?

Sadly for some it would seem so. Because, as those arguing with Christ just before this verse, much of what He has to say is indeed such a hard teaching that to our misunderstandings it does seem to approach upon unacceptability. In this passage in particular, Jesus is sharing with His followers the necessity of eating His flesh and drinking His blood, things that we even today inside this world of horror and gore find perfectly impious.

Seems entirely unwelcoming to our way of this world that has us wondering instead about all the glories we might gain and the stories they'll allow us to share of all the successes we've found and the means by which they help us prove ourselves the purveyors of such perfections. Yes, what we know of life is a seeking for satisfactions, a satiety hidden within some socially accepted normality that form the formality that allows us to ensure then that we're doing this right.

Because there exists down here one specific way of living right, just so happens to change daily in accord with the updates defined by those who do only wrong. Like all of us. Indeed, we each find ways inside every new day to do what mostly shouldn't be done, serving the wrongs made into gods lost within idols we manage to make of everything under the sun and everyone other than the Son.

And yet, despite the obviousness of our lack of faithfulness to any one devotion or direction, we still cling tightly to this testimony that has us seemingly the ones who know what we're doing, and therefore the best judges of righteousness as such is anymore merely a reflection of our best intentions. Yes, because we think ourselves capable enough to come through mostly unscathed on the other side of this battle of the wide’s invitation screaming well overtop the still small undeserving nature of the narrow, so too we find ourselves the moral compass by which we disapprove of every other idea we don't find enjoyable.

Because that's all life is, at least that we've chosen to make of it. It's a means meant for enjoyment, a vessel to be filled with anything that doesn't violate or void our opinion of ourselves and the self-righteousness which we insist does in fact define us. Such a foolish masquerade we undertake to avoid the light as we know without a doubt that truth is an immovable boundary stone defending pure love's having already conquered the high ground.

But alas, here upon our ivory towers, we assume ourselves looking down on even the One who took up our cross to lift our sins upon it whereby they might die, inviting us to do likewise. An invitation to a hard teaching that leaves us asking still, "who can accept it?"

Because why should we accept it? This Gospel asking us gorge ourselves upon the flesh and blood of the One who bears a striking resemblance to us? Such is even too detestable a thought for us to consider, even we who don't mind the guts and grime of prime-time tv or the lude and languishing lyrics of the top twenty of today. No, we can handle so much brutality, crave it in fact.

But eat of the Bread of Life and partake of a drink of His perfect mercy poured out only for us to find safety? No, this is a hard teaching. One so hard that it does now as it did then and inspire a disapproval meant to divide disciples off the narrow that was and remains the only way home.

Yet, as we see Simon ponder here, what else have we got? To what other hope might we return that we hadn't already seen through to the end that it held? Indeed, is there any dead horse we've not yet beaten into oblivion still seeking anything that might suffice as evidence that we've not truly wasted our lives upon worthless ideas turned idols that are no better than the other false gods that humanity has long served unto insanity?

No, friends we've plundered every pathetic excuse of every idiotic idea that we could ever implore ourselves to imagine. Every single day we waver between here and home, God and gold, Jesus and this hypocritical judgement we feel we've every right to dish out without ever a measure in return. No, we've built ourselves so high that to serve self is the only way that seems reasonable anymore.

And so we're stuck here still with no idea what we're doing all because we keep on doing everything as if everything we're doing means something. But at some point, most likely later as opposed to the chance at sooner, we'll find ourselves face to face with the fact that nothing we do matters if any of it is done outside an untainted reverence for God alone. If we do anything without love for the Father, we're just fools making noise.

But I guess that's another hard idea that's a bit too much to consider inside these weakened minds wearied by worries of what we might win if we just hold tight to our pride and ride out the revelry that's defined our stay so far.

Do we not see that everything we do is a decision displaying where our devotion is defined? That each moment of every day holds a meaning that means we're doing something that is seen by the One who saw it all before we began? And as such is the case, can we say with any certainty that what we're deciding is in fact acceptable in the sight of the One who saw plenty to see fit that He might lay down His life to cover the expense of our past efforts?

Friends, we're dogs chasing our tails without any idea as to what we'll do should we happen to catch them. We don't even wait to chase after the wind anymore. We just blow the smoke and get to running where we happened to breathe into existence the latest stupidity that happened to catch our interest. A people of such divided ideals that it's amazing we can manage to feed ourselves.

Because we feast on everything that brings us nothing, all because it just stands to reason that if nothing is given, nothing of us will be asked in return for the nothing we benefit. And knowing well how little we've managed to actually accomplish, choosing to serve false gods who give us nothing seems somewhat ideal as such won't ever demand anything of us either.

No, within all these blasphemes to which we've bowed before are found no expectations. If we create it, well then we also invent the ideology which drives it. If our hands put it together, then so too do our hands have the ability to break it apart if it ever dares become unbecoming of what we're becoming. That's the whole and total benefit of all these fabrications and forfeits we've found reason to serve and follow.

They don't ask us to do anything other than whatever we want, which is ironically all that we want.

But can't we see the downward spirality of that? That if we're the ones who decide what's right that we'll then never be in the wrong? That if it's up to us to determine the finish line then we can negotiate the outcome? Can such truly be plausible? And if it in fact is possible, well then why've we not yet found the fulfillment or meaning or purpose with which we're certain will come our life's worth?

If we could create another god, be it of ourselves, in ourselves, or even within something we make by ourselves, why haven't we found what we're looking for?

Because it's all worthless. Because, and here's another hard truth for us all to find rather revolting, we're worthless! How about that? We're entirely without reason. Every moment of our lives as lived how we've lived them is without any measure or chance at purpose. Because if we have no direction then we don't know where we're going. And too, if we're the ones who define the direction, then we'll only ever be able to get wherever we alone can go.

And where alone does every single person eventually arrive?

Death.

That's the promised outcome of every life. Every life owes a death. Not one of us will leave this world alive, even though we hate that reality so fervently that we live our whole lives avoiding the mere mention of its inevitability. We loathe the temporal nature of our existence because we find ways to make it pleasurable, and we just don't want that fun to end. So adamant that is doesn't that we fight to the bone to either disprove or disassociate with anyone who dares stifle our enjoyment.

Even if He be the Savior who came only to show us that the end of this life doesn't have to be seen as the end of life at all.

And yet, even inside that amazing gift of an unlocked eternity, still we awake each new day to do the same worthless things as the day before. We run right back to judging one another, logging in to social media’s madness to make sure we make our hatred heard in the comment sections, gluttoning ourselves on every immoral ideal that we've come to idolize. Our lives are being lived in service of everything worthless.

But we don't care because that's just how we like it, because again, if it brings nothing to our lives then nor will it ever ask for anything from us either.

‘”Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.” But the people said nothing.’” 1 Kings 18:21

"The people said nothing." Because what can we say in response to being called out for having wasted our lives wearing ourselves out looking for ways to ensure we win in the end while never losing anything along the way? What can we say to the fact that we've failed to find anything worth having, a truth proven in that we still keep looking? We say nothing still, silence on the line because we just don't want to put our lives on it.

No, we don't want to lose what we know of life because, to us, it sure seems to be living. We're making a living of making a mockery of life itself, so disinterested in everything that we refuse to make decisions in regard to anything. Because we know that to make a choice is to embrace the consequence of perhaps being wrong.

And to a people so lost that we assume ourselves always right, to be wrong is such a hard teaching that it must come only from the mouth of a liar. And so here we kneel beside the broken alters upon which we've poured out a wasted life. All because we chose to have the Rock fall on us rather than our accepting the invitation to fall on Him and be broken into repair.

Into repair. Because we need it. And He proved that He’s always known it.

But, and here's the thing, we have to choose whether or not we truly want that repair, that reprieve, that redemption that we can’t possibly prove we can live without. We have to choose as such is the only way. That's the way God ordained all this. Each of us has been given a life and He gave us with it the opportunity to choose what we do with it, where we go with it, to what we devote it and thereby whom we follow with it. And the simple fact of the matter is that all of us are indeed following something or someone.

For the most part, we're following self. We spend our time thinking of ways to improve our lives rather than improving ourselves. We give our days over to making dollars as if those are really the decisions worth the most. We chase after the things we want, not once realizing that we don't have the things but that the things have us. Indeed, we look to ourselves as the only source of reason, of truth, of hope.

And sometimes we accidentally wonder why we have none of the above.

Joshua reminds the people of their duty defined by this decision we all have to make for ourselves. "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living." That's the opening reality of Joshua 24:15.

It's the truth that we do have the freedom to choose for ourselves where we go, what we do, who we serve and thus who we are. Because as this world and our pasts have proven and continue to make obvious, we don't have to live like God exists. We don't have to do what is actually right and true. We needn't hinder ourselves to shouldering His burden. No, this place has provided plenty of evidence that we can leave our crosses on the ground and avoid the weight of their guilt.

But yet to avoid the weight of that regret is to deny the gift of eternal life as found within the words, “It is finished.” Indeed, we don’t have to listen to anything Jesus has to say, but should we refuse, nor then should we expect to ever hear Him say something which might actually turn out to save us from what we know deep down we truly deserve.

And so, "as for me and my house..."

#LeaveNoSoulUntold